Two minute reality check

The negative effects of overwhelming emotions often have more to do with our reaction to the emotion itself. If you feel extreme rage and act on that rage by breaking a window or physically assaulting the person you’re angry at, the problem then become the damage you’ve caused rather than the emotion of anger. If you allow the anger to pass through you without reacting to it, there would be no problem. Emotions themselves, even the painful ones, can be neutral and soon pass. It’s when we do things under the influence of strong but temporary emotions that we experience difficulties and then regret what we’ve done. The two minute reality check works by interrupting the emotion – reaction cycle, giving you time to regain your perspective.

Step 1: When you find yourself in an emotionally overwhelming situation or dealing with the aftermath of such a situation, ask yourself the following:

·         What just happen? What are my feelings, and why do I feel this way?

·         In the grant of things, how important is this situation?

·         Give my strong feelings about the situation right now, how upset will I be in 24 hours? 48 hours? A week? A month?

Step 2: Scan your mind for “should/shouldn’t” beliefs. You may even want to write them down to clarify your thoughts. What part of the situation are you struggling against? Try reframing your “should/shouldn’t beliefs into “I want/don’t want” statements.

Step 3: If your overwhelming emotion is anxiety or nervousness, try doing two rounds of the eye movement exercise.