How to say no

The next question is how to say No in a way that reasonable people will accept. Here’s a third irony: If you do it properly, you never actually use the word “NO”.

1.      Express your wish to help:  “I’d like to do that for you” or “I wish I could be helpful.”

2.      Give an explanation: “I’m working on a tight deadline” or “I have to get to a dental appointment.” You don’t have to get highly personal.

3.      Offer an alternative: “Barb’s really good at this, and she loves to do it” or “I won’t be able to do it, but I can show you how to do it.”

4.      Offer to do it later: “I can’t help you now, but I can do it next Tuesday.”

5.      Offer to do part of the task: “I won’t be able to do all of it, but I’d be happy to do this part for you.”

6.      Ask her to help you prioritize: “Which of these projects would you like me to set aside in order to do this one?”

She’ll likely say one of two things:

·         “I didn’t realize you had that much on the go. I’ll deal with it another way.”

·         “Set that one aside and do this instead.”

Either way, she accepts ownership of the decision. She can’t come back to you next week and say “where’s the such and such report?’ when she’s the one who told you to put it away,

7.      Ask for time to think about it: “Can I get back to you in an hour? I’ll try to rearrange my schedule.” Then, if you can’t fit it in, call back and say, “I’m sorry, its not going to work perhaps another time.”

8.      Ask what it’s for: Help her clarify her situation and real needs.

Saying no is an important life skill in this fast-paced world. It’s a way to protect yourself from stress and overload, Along with permission and enough, NO is a third word to add to you work – life balance vocabulary.