When He/She Blames You

In the exercise below, ask yourself about ways your partner tries to make you feel guilty or inadequate. Try to be honest with yourself. Are his/her criticisms completely justified? Are they totally from outer space? Are they somewhat true, but nowhere near as serious who knows both of you to help you get a reality check.
Then, based on your assessment, activate self-talk to put the complaint in perspective. Here are some examples:
On target:
From outer space:
True, but exaggerated: "okay, I see some of that, but he/she is trying to make this out to be my entire fault, and I will not accept that." "I refuse to take responsibility for his/her depression and unhappiness." "He’s/she right. This is something I really need to work on."

Does your depressed partner...	On target	From outer space	True, but exaggerated
Tell you that you expect too much from him/her?
Tell you that e wouldn’t be so depressed if you would just have more sex with him/her?
Accuse you of paying more attention to the kids than to him/her?
Criticize for you bringing up problems at the wrong time?
Criticize you for bringing up problems with the wrong language?
Consistently complain about how much you’ve changed for the worse over the course of the relationship?
Accuse you of making "suggestions" but denying that they are criticisms?